An homage to “A Day in the Life”..

Yep- This is what I do all day.

A real day in the life here.

My thoughts on cell phones

Okay, I’m going to try to make these next couple of entries just complete brain diarrhea. I don’t feel like spending a lot of time making each of these entries (relatively) perfect.

I got my first cell phone during my first year of college. It was purely out of necessity. My mother basically wanted to know where I was at all times. If I had it my way, like I’ve said many times before, I wouldn’t have one.. but I do see the importance of having one in emergency situations. Emergency situations is a very broad term for me since I have a big family and anything concerning them could potentially be an emergency.

Since my first year of college, I’ve gone through five phones. Five. I’m on my sixth phone right now. Granted two of those phones were just loaners until I got new phones. Of those phones, I was really only attached to one of them. When that one broke, I was devastated. I don’t like being devastated. I don’t like attachment. Especially to material things. You’re probably thinking, “You should take better care of your cell phone, AA.” Well, to you I say, “Cell phones should be sturdier.” And, “Fuck you.”

The thing I don’t like about cell phones: built-in obligation. Just because you call me doesn’t mean I have to call you back. Especially if you didn’t leave a message. If I call someone and don’t leave a message, it probably wasn’t important anyway. Don’t think I’m ignoring you (although sometimes this could be the case). Just because you ring doesn’t mean I have to pick you up, cell phone. I’ll pick you up when I damn well please.

I really just have no desire to be an on call friend. I have no desire to be that accessible.

Another thing I don’t like about cell phones: dependency. I hate feeling lost without a phone. When you have a phone, and then it suddenly turns up missing, a feeling of emptiness envelops you. I don’t need you, cell phone! You are the tool, not me!

People who drive while talking on cell phones, though, ARE tools. And they typically drive SUVS or some ridiculously massive vehicle.

Sigh. I loathe cell phones.

If I could describe Ohio right now

(or at least the part that I’m in) in one word, I would say red.

The hardcore Buckeye fandom, the bricks that almost all the buildings here are made of, and the people who just can’t tan.. yeah, it’s red.

Who needs who now?

Sometimes I think about how much I can’t bear to live without certain people or certain things. (Mind you, I’m not very materialistic — my list would have only a few bullets.) Then I wonder if there are people out there that feel the same way about me… and that’s when I get frightened. Frightened of nonexistence. Fearful of death. I hate leaving people hanging, you know.

Later I realize how insignificant I really am in this vast world… and I am humbled. Strangely enough, I actually enjoy this feeling.

Not all the time, but from time to time I wish I were nonexistent (not dead but just poof gone). I can’t explain why because I barely know myself, but perhaps it’s a desire to get away from stress or responsibilities, whether self-imposed or not. I also think it could be my not so secret scorn for people (probably it). In any case, that humbling feeling I get helps alleviate my emotions about a lot of these things and brings me closer to identifying with this African concept/philosophy that I like very much known as Ubuntu, which essentially means

“I am who I am because of who we all are.”

I know- I don’t make sense anymore.